Finding My Higher Power in the Ten Thousand Things

I was ten years sober when, in 1996, I first checked out the California Diamond Sangha at the urging of several AA friends. Early on, when I told its leader, John Tarrant Roshi, that I was sober and in AA, he replied that the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous “was a good Zen book.” Immediately, I felt at home in the Buddhist community.

Of course, the word Buddhism is not mentioned in the 1939 first printing of the Big Book. Back then, most Americans identified with Christianity. But by the second printing, in 1955, the foreword included the note that “we include Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Hindus, and a sprinkling of Moslems [sic] and Buddhists.”

“I have the feeling when I look at a tree that it’s looking back at me.”

Buddhist concepts came into closer contact with AA in the 1940s when cofounder Bob Smith, aka Dr. Bob, commissioned a pamphlet entitled “Spiritual Milestones in Alcoholics Anonymous.” “The spiritual life is by no means a Christian monopoly,” it reads. “Consider the eight-part program laid down in Buddhism: right view, right aim, right speech, right action, right living, right effort, right mindedness and right contemplation. The Buddhist philosophy, as exemplified by these eight points, could be literally adopted by AA as a substitute or an addition to the Twelve Steps.”

When I found this pamphlet, I felt a connection like no other to AA; it’s a spiritual welcome to all Buddhists. The Twelve Steps offer me a template for practicing the eightfold path—and the eightfold path offers me a template for practicing the Twelve Steps. 

The God Thing

Not a weekly AA meeting goes by in which I don’t hear about a person’s total revulsion to “God,” often caused by their childhood experiences with a church. Since many of AA’s first members felt this same way, they gave us all another option: As it says in the Big Book, “When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God.” 

Your higher power doesn’t have to be a “god,” per se. The only condition is that this higher power be greater than yourself. “Be quick to see where religious people are right,” the Big Book says. “Make use of what they offer.”

The 10K

The thirteenth-century Zen teacher Eihei Dogen wrote, “To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be recognized by the ten thousand things.”

To be recognized by the ten thousand things—or, as another translation puts it, “to be actualized by myriad things”—is to awaken. The “ten thousand things” is everything. Everything springs forth from them. The Twelve Steps and the eightfold path are included in the ten thousand things, so are toothbrushes, tacos, and tattoos, cities and atoms, birth and death, you and I. 

 “The ten thousand things,” or “10K” for short, is what I call my higher power. I abandon myself to this moment with the 10K. They are all the things that are available to me and my senses in this moment.

A Matter of Perception

Accompanied by the ten thousand things wherever I go, I depend upon their existence. Things happen because other things happened. Everything I need is right here. How can I not love my life?

In the Pacific Zen School (which the California Diamond Sangha became known as), we’re taught to meditate with our eyes open, just a little. Gazing down in front of me, sitting in my chair in the living room, there are a lot of things around me. I’m not examining each and every object. I’m just noticing that they’re present. Together we meditate.

Perhaps you’ve heard of Indra’s Net, a classic Buddhist metaphor for interconnection. This net is cast throughout the universe, and at each intersection where the threads cross, there’s a jewel, and each jewel is reflected in all the other jewels. One definition of reflection is “an effect produced by an influence.” As far as I can point my finger, these jewels reflect the ten thousand things within my gaze.

AA’s Step Eleven, the catalyst that keeps my practice alive and well, begins with “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him.” Following this step, I have regular conversations with 10K: “Good morning, 10K! Let’s start the day, reflecting upon each other.” 

Inevitably, these reflections bring feelings of gratitude for my life, and then the question arises: How can I pay it forward? As the Big Book puts it, “God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order.” 

 For me, “Let’s reflect upon each other” has become a personal mantra, which naturally leads to purpose. “Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us,” says the Big Book. What could be the maximum purpose for the ten thousand things? They’re showing me what’s available to me right now. They’re showing me that we’re all in this together.

Bringing in Koans

How can I better serve this moment? Hakuin Ekaku’s collection Miscellaneous Koans has some solid advice: “Wherever you are, just take the role of host, and that place will be a true place.” In other words, what helps is to respond appropriately, go with the flow, and take things as they come, in a selfless manner. 

The koan story “Ikkyu’s Attention,” has wisdom for us, too: 

A student said to Master Ikkyu, “Please write for me something of great wisdom.” Ikkyu picked up his brush and wrote one word: “Attention.”

The student said, “Is that all?” The master wrote, “Attention. Attention.”

The student became irritable. “That doesn’t seem profound or subtle to me.”

In response, Master Ikkyu wrote simply, “Attention. Attention. Attention.”
In frustration, the student demanded, “What does this word ‘attention’ mean?”

Ikkyu replied, “Attention means attention.” 

Doesn’t the AA slogan “First Things First” imply paying attention to what’s happening right now? “Keep It Simple,” another AA slogan, sure sounds like a Zen message to me.

Forgetting the Self, Awakening to Change

Walking in the morning is practice. Stepping off the porch, I say out loud, “Hello, 10K. I feel your temperature. I’m breathing you into my lungs. I smell you. I hear you as the geese are calling out to me. I see you in every direction. Right now, let’s reflect upon each other. You are providing everything I need.” God is now.

I have the feeling when I look at a tree (or rock or bird or litter or clouds) that it’s looking back at me. I notice the fragrance of honeysuckle, and the flower smells me. Stepping out from the shadows, I feel the warm sunshine. This is two-way, multidimensional communication happening in real time. I can’t help but have conscious contact with my higher power, because I’m paying real attention to and participating in my surroundings.

Step Twelve is “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.” This step marks a huge awakening. We change from a self-centered individual to a person who cares about others. We find ways to forget the self.AA and the eightfold path are tried and true—though only if we truly try them. Practicing both in all my affairs expands my worldly purpose: to contribute to the greater good.